Empathy and communications with clients, spouses, and partners

This week has seen several great posts on major issues for lawyers involving listening.

The first one was Jordan Furlong’s post “Don’t Think Like a Lawyer.” He argues that thinking like a lawyer is “easy and fun,” and also a dangerous replacement for thinking like a person. He argues that feeling like a client is totally lacking from legal education, and law students should be required to visit lawyers’ offices and experience what clients experience. “Legal education is a powerful drug; but if you’re not careful, it can drown out your instincts, stifle your emotions, and numb your heart.” To be great, lawyers must be more than “tacticians”; they must be “instinctive, heartfelt, caring, and real.”

These themes were addressed as well in Mark Perlmutter’s post on “6 Things We Learned in Law School that Shouldn’t Be Tried at Home” on Trebuchet Legal. Perlmutter recalls his shift from lawyer to counselor including his own experience in counseling: “I’ve come to realize how much my lawyer competencies had helped to make me an utterly incompetent husband.” Perlmutter explains some good therapy concepts boiled down to the idea that responding with opposition is not effective. Paraphrasing and building on the conversation may work a lot better. (That sounds a lot like active listening.)

These effect of these posts was encouraging for the project here at Listen Like a Lawyer. Upcoming content will explore some brass-tacks listening topics such as listening at deposition and listening at trial. If you’re a hard-core litigator and want to share some thoughts on listening, please let me know. On that note, here’s a nice article on listening at trial.

But this blog will continue to explore the soft skill of listening on its own terms — including its essential role in empathy, relationships, and human connections.

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